Do you specialize in anything in particular?

Yes — I work with folks navigating complex trauma (CPTSD), dissociation, attachment wounds, personality disorders (especially BPD and narcissistic dynamics), and relationship struggles. I also love supporting queer, trans, and politically-engaged clients, sex workers, adult children of emotionally immature parents, and couples in high-conflict cycles.

What’s your vibe as a therapist?

Warm, collaborative, direct when needed, and always grounded in compassion. I believe in being a real human in the room (or on the screen). Therapy with me isn’t about "fixing" you — it's about helping you understand your patterns, care for your inner world, and make choices that align with your values.

Do you take insurance?

I’m not in-network with insurance companies, but I can provide superbills (invoices) for potential reimbursement if you have out-of-network coverage. I recommend calling your insurance provider to ask what they reimburse for out-of-network psychotherapy (CPT code 90834 or 90837). ​​Use Reimbursify's benefits calculator to determine your reimbursement rates.

What are your rates?

My current fee is $195 for individual sessions (50 minutes) and $220 for couples sessions (50 minutes). More on that here. I offer a limited number of sliding scale spots — feel free to reach out to inquire about availability. If I am not able to accommodate, I am happy to send you referrals.

Why weekly therapy?

Therapy works best when there’s some consistency, especially at the beginning. Weekly sessions help us build trust, gather momentum, and stay connected to the work, like building a muscle or learning a new language. Over time, as things stabilize and you feel more resourced, we can talk about shifting to every other week or a different rhythm that fits your needs.

How do I get started?

Email me directly at stephaniebaintherapy@gmail.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. You can also call or text me: 510-545-9329. We’ll chat to see if we’re a good fit, and if not, I’m happy to offer referrals.

What’s your cancellation policy?

I require 48 hours’ notice to cancel or reschedule a session. Sessions canceled with less notice will be charged the full fee.

If you cancel an appointment with less than a 48-hour notice, but reschedule the appointment within the same calendar week, I will not charge you for the cancellation. However, this is subject to my and your availability and is not guaranteed.

What does queer-affirming therapy mean in your practice?

Queer-affirming therapy in my practice means working from the assumption that LGBTQIA+ identities and relationships are valid, healthy, and deserving of care. I attend to minority stress, internalized stigma, family-of-origin dynamics, and the unique relational challenges queer people face.

Do you offer queer couples therapy?

Yes. I specialize in queer couples therapy in Oakland, supporting relationships navigating attachment differences, power dynamics, identity stressors, and trauma histories. Aside from general training in couples therapy, I have specific training in working with queer couples.

Do you write letters for gender-affirming care?

Yes, absolutely. I am happy to provide letters for gender-affirming surgery and related care after an assessment session.

Do you offer telehealth?

Yes! I offer secure video sessions to anyone located in California. Some clients like to mix in-person and virtual sessions, which works for me, too. I use Simple Practice’s HIPAA-compliant portal.

What’s your approach to couples therapy?

I support queer and straight couples, poly and monogamous folks, and anyone trying to deepen or repair their connection. I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, and psychodynamic/attachment-based approaches. I help couples understand their conflict patterns, practice healthy communication, and build emotional safety. I have advanced training in EFT, parts work, and applying sex therapy to couples work.

Okay, how does therapy work?

Do you offer psychodynamic therapy?

Yes. I offer psychodynamic therapy in Oakland to help clients process and understand past experiences, attachment patterns, and unconscious processes that shape current relationships, emotions, and behaviors.

Is psychodynamic therapy right for me?

Psychodynamic therapy can be helpful if you’re interested in insight, depth, relational patterns, and long-term change rather than symptom-only relief.

What is psychodynamic therapy?

Psychodynamic therapy is all about understanding how your past shows up in your present, especially in relationships, emotions, and patterns that feel stuck. We look at your early experiences, your defenses (aka brilliant survival strategies), and your unconscious beliefs that quietly shape how you move through the world.

It’s less about giving advice and more about helping you see yourself more clearly and feel more choiceful. Insight, healing, and change come from feeling deeply seen and making connections over time.

Think: depth over quick fixes, long-term transformation over surface-level symptom relief.

Do you offer Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts Work Therapy?

Yes. I offer Internal Family Systems therapy in Oakland to help clients transform trauma, distressing memories, negative self-beliefs, stuck patterns, and internal conflicts.

What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

IFS is based on the idea that we all have different “parts” inside us, like an anxious part, a perfectionist part, a shut-down part, a playful part, etc. These parts aren’t flaws; they’re protective and adaptive, even when they seem self-sabotaging.

In IFS, we learn to listen to our parts instead of fighting with them. When we approach them with curiosity (instead of judgment), they tend to soften, and we can access more of what’s called the “Self,” which is calm, compassionate, and wise.

If you’ve ever said, “Ugh, part of me wants to go and part of me wants to hide,” you already speak the language of IFS.

Do you offer EMDR therapy?

Yes. I offer EMDR therapy in Oakland to help clients process trauma, distressing memories, and negative core beliefs.

What issues can EMDR help with?

EMDR can help with trauma, PTSD, anxiety, relationship triggers, childhood emotional wounds, and experiences that continue to feel “stuck” in the nervous system.

What is EMDR therapy and how does it work?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a trauma therapy that helps people process stuck memories, emotions, and beliefs. It uses bilateral stimulation (like tapping or eye movements) to help the brain reprocess experiences that didn’t get fully digested the first time around, like a frozen trauma loop finally getting unstuck.

It doesn’t require you to talk in detail about the trauma over and over. Instead, we gently activate the memory network and your brain does a lot of the work behind the scenes. It can be weird and powerful. People often say things like, “That memory doesn’t feel so charged anymore,” or, “I can finally see it differently.”

What is adapted DBT therapy?

DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It was originally created to support folks who feel emotions very intensely and may struggle with things like self-harm, suicidal ideation, or black-and-white thinking. At its core, DBT teaches skills to help with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and improving relationships.

That said, not everyone needs the full, structured DBT program (like weekly skills groups, coaching calls, and homework). I use an adapted DBT approach, which means I integrate DBT skills into regular therapy sessions in a way that fits you and your goals. It’s especially helpful if you:

• Feel overwhelmed by big emotions

• Struggle to express yourself in relationships without things escalating

• Have a hard time calming down once you’re activated

• Want to build a better relationship with yourself and your body

We can go at your pace, tailor the skills to your life, and focus on both change and deep understanding.

Do you offer Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT or EFCT)?

Yes. I offer Emotionally Focused Therapy in Oakland to help couples transform conflict and stuck patterns, and increase connection, trust, and intimacy.

When should couples consider therapy?

Couples therapy can be helpful when partners feel stuck in recurring conflicts, disconnected, struggling with trust or intimacy, or navigating major life transitions.

Do you work with high-conflict couples?

Yes. I work with couples experiencing frequent conflict, emotional reactivity, or shutdown, using a trauma-informed and attachment-based approach.

What is EFT couples therapy?

EFT stands for Emotionally Focused Therapy, and it’s a game-changer for couples stuck in conflict, disconnection, or stuck cycles that keep repeating. I use EFT with all kinds of relationships, including non-monogamous, queer, and polycules. EFT is about deepening emotional safety, not fitting into a mold.

Instead of focusing on who’s “right” or “wrong,” EFT helps partners slow down and understand the emotional dance they’re caught in, especially the fears, longings, and attachment needs underneath the arguments. The goal is to shift from reactive blame/withdrawal into vulnerable, secure connection.

For example: that fight about the dishes might actually be about feeling unseen or afraid of being a burden. EFT helps you speak from the softer emotions underneath the fight, and respond to each other with more empathy and safety.